Awakening the Joy of a Venomous Teenager- A Feel Good Story

If you give a girl a mallet, she'll want to beat a drum.  Let the girl beat the drum, and she'll want to find her rhythm. And when she finds her rhythm, the music will awaken her soul.

This girl, I'll call her Kelly, is the type of adolescent that might cause a teacher to run for the hills when they see her name on their roster. Defiant, attention-seeking, and not living up to her potential, Kelly frustrates even the most patient of educators. This is the type of student that you want so badly to reach because you know that if they would just lay their armor to the side for a few moments, they could achieve so much. But usually, Kelly pushes every one of your buttons until you give up and go home with your head hung low at another day of failed attempts.

I was sitting in a darkened theatre after one of these days waiting for a middle school band concert to begin. Three middle school bands had combined to promote the importance of music in schools. I came to listen to my son perform, but I would also see some of my students as well. Freshly showered 7th and 8th graders, wearing crisp white shirts and black slacks, began to file into the auditorium with their instruments glittering in the stage lights. Camera flashes blinded them momentarily but then they began waving to their families and elbowing each other in their giddiness at being the stars of the night. 

The last of them made their way up the stairs and that’s when I saw Kelly. Her face held no expression as she positioned herself next to the big base drum that stood at the back of the musicians and began to twirl her mallet lazily. Each band director of the different middle schools took a turn at directing. I paid little attention to Kelly after the concert began, preferring to play the part of doting parent.  That is until, her director, I’ll call him Mr. B, stepped up to the director’s podium. 

 Mr. B has a great relationship with students and is incredibly talented, so I wasn’t surprised at the smiles on the kids faces when he arrived. 

He held his baton in the air, instruments raised to position in unison, the audience’s breath held in anticipation. With a swift flick, the slow, mellow brass sound swirled through the auditorium. I was held in disbelief at the talent of these kids. Goosebumps raised on my arms and I thought back for a moment about when I was in band and what it felt like to expand your lungs to the breaking point for the beauty of sound. Each part taking its turn and blending in harmony. 

I scanned the company of players, my eyes catching on Kelly. She was smiling, her eyes bright in concentration, focused intently on Mr. B, beating the base drum in time with his direction. I was brought to the edge of my seat, blown away by her obvious joy. My grinch heart swelled three sizes bigger as the song played on and I felt hope return.

                                                                                    cadry'skitchen.com

Kids like Kelly are not hopeless. They are worthy of my efforts, of trying every single day to find whatever it is that reaches into their soul to release that spark buried deep down. I saw it. I saw the fire of passion and I will not forget it.

This is the song that was played that night performed by a different band. If you listen closely, you can hear the base drum. Listen and be filled with inspiration.

Hit the Road Snowman!

         

Dear Mr. Snowman,

            I need you off my lawn. It’s been six months since you’ve frozen yourself into place, staring out into the wild blue. I admit that it’s been fun at times.  The fat, lazy snowflakes drifting through birch trees were magical. Piles of soft fluff to sled through and icicles as tall as my children hanging from the eaves were exciting. It was a novelty, at first, to spend my days in complete darkness, for my kids to pretend to be miners and wear headlamps at the bus stop.

But now that your stay is dragging on and on, I’m seeing the true you.  It’s you that turned the roads into sheets of ice making my car slip and slide. It’s you that caused me to fall on my face in front of a middle school full of kids. It’s you that wakes me up to -12 degrees in April. It’s not right and I just can’t let it go on any longer!

We both knew this was only temporary when you first arrived back in October, but I had no idea that you’d still be hanging on in the middle of April.

It’s hard, I know, to say goodbye. But, the truth is, I’ve fallen for someone else. Someone who can give me green grass, blooming flowers and vegetables pulled straight from the Earth. His name is Spring. He lets me walk barefoot without fear of frostbite and stretch out in a hammock in the bright sun. I want to hear the birds twittering in the trees and leave my coat at home.  We both know that’s just not who you are.

            This might be harsh, but I won’t miss you. I know that you’ll be back soon. It’s only a short separation after all. It will do us good. By the time that you return, I’ll have temporarily forgotten all of your annoying habits and will be mesmerized by your magic all over again.   Let go.  It’s over!

Sincerely,

Sick of Winter

You Are My Sunshine

  

         I am humbled and grateful on this one-week anniversary of the existence of my blog to be offered the Sunshine Award by Anna at The Silent Isle.  Thank you, dear Anna, for inspiring me to be creative and courageous as I step into the wide, wide world of blogs.

        

“The Sunshine Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The receivers of the Sunshine Award are bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogsphere.”

            I feel myself slipping into the prepared acceptance speech that I will now pull from inside of my coat pocket.  I would like to thank the academy, my parents, and most of all God. Ok, I think that’s enough. But, truly, if you are reading this today, thank you for stopping by and taking a few minutes out of your day to read my words.  My hope is that over time my blog will be as entertaining for you to read as it is for me to write.

         The conditions of this award are for me to share 7 facts about myself and to nominate 7 other blogs. So here it goes, in no particular order of importance.

1.) Growing up, I wanted to be Snow White. No, I don’t mean that I wanted to be a princess. I actually wanted to be the lady dressed in the costume and walking around Disney World acting as the character. I couldn’t imagine a more fun occupation than spending your days in “the happiest place on Earth.”  By the way, that dream never came true. But, I have been to Disney and it was really as magical as I had imagined.

2.) I am a super fan girl nerd when it comes to Harry Potter, Twilight, Game of Thrones, The Hunger Games and some others. I wear the t-shirts, drink from the coffee mugs and listen to podcast discussions on my way to and from work everyday. I’m probably just a blip away from writing fan fiction, and I’m pretty sure some of you will stop reading at this point.

  

3.) Pizza is my absolute favorite food of all time. I have been thankful on my few trips to Europe that this food seems to be universal and one of the least expensive things to eat. My husband jokes about my “needing” pizza when I was pregnant. I do believe that all three of my kids should have been born with swarthy Italian mustaches based on the amount of pizza that I consumed while they were in the womb.

4.) My husband, Stephen, is a Captain in the U.S. Army. That makes me a very proud Army wife who has lived in six different states in the last 15 years. I’ve learned to use Army terms and phrases such as “Hooah”, “Roger”, and “Shut up and color”. I’ve also learned that if you’re not five minutes early, then you’re actually fifteen minutes late. Despite these things, I can’t say the Pledge of Allegiance or listen to the national anthem without tearing up.

5.) I once loaded 400 pounds of sand by myself into the back of my husband’s truck when he was deployed. It was needed to weigh down the back-end to stop sliding all over the ice in the New York winter. My then four-year-old helped me stack and arrange eight, fifty-pound bags. I felt like She-Ra once it was done.

6.) My favorite author is Edgar Allan Poe and my favorite holiday is Halloween. I love dark and creepy. However, I refuse to watch scary movies or go to haunted houses because I don’t like to be scared. Don’t worry, I don’t understand the contradiction either.

7.)Whenever I am at home with the audience of only my immediate family, I like to turn whatever I’m saying into song, think opera.  My kids really love this (sarcasm) when I wake them up in the morning.

        So, there you have it. More things about me than you ever needed to know. Now, on to the best part.

        I have had this blog in the works for over a year, but I just didn’t have the courage to make it live on the web. The bloggers that I will nominate today are all very talented writers that have inspired and encouraged me to take that step forward.  Take the time to check out their blogs, you won’t be disappointed.

Molly at Molly Elizabeth Lee  
Lisa at lisavpires 
Alicia at On the Road to Authorship 
Brooke at Brooke Bullman
*Kate at Nested
*Drema at The Grammar of Painting
*Amy at Addled

*These wonderful ladies have already been nominated for this award by others, but since I read them daily and they serve as inspiration to me, I think you should visit them too.

This Week I Am Just Cherry Flavored Jell-O

          This is something I have dreaded every year since I was in the fifth grade. No, it’s not the bi-annual teeth cleaning, or visits to the doctor, even though I do dread those things with a passion. But, this is something that even as an adult reduces me to a pile of quivering Jell-O. Wow, what is it that does this to me?

           Testing.

                                                 

                                                        www.nea.org

            As a kid in Texas it was the TAAS test, then the TASP test, and the CATS test. These tests were never as hard as I imagined they would be, but when adults began to emphasize the importance of sleep and eating breakfast, all of a sudden it became a bigger deal. I thought that going to bed on time and keeping my belly full was something that you should do anyway. So, on the day of testing I would double my breakfast and end up with a stomachache to go with the raging nervousness.

Now, as a teacher, the nervousness has tripled. Even though I am confident about the work that I do, when the week of the state test comes around, I find myself in clench mode. If you don’t know what clenching is, read my friend Kate’s blog, Nested.

     I have proctored a lot of different kinds of tests. At this point in my career, I’ve been a certified teacher in six states, because I’m also an Army wife.  Anybody who has given one of these tests knows how many detailed rules and regulations accompany them. Not to mention the pressure that hangs over you that the kids perform at the very best. Because, “if you’re not first you’re last”, right Ricky Bobby?

Yesterday, as I gave the test, I made a mistake. It was a minor one, but it was a mistake. I had to admit this mistake to the higher powers and reap the wrath. No, the integrity of the test wasn’t compromised, no child was left behind, and no child was prevented from doing their best. All in all, this mistake of mine was nothing. But as I walked away from school yesterday, I felt like my entire professional career was a sham. A little overdramatic? Yea, maybe, but that’s what I let myself be reduced to.

Later, as I was drowning my sorrows in strawberry shortcake, the food not the cartoon, I realized that this test does not define me. It didn’t define me as a kid and it doesn’t define me as a professional. I will measure my success by different standards, one that sees everyday evidence that students are  improving and gaining the skills they need to progress. This test is a benchmark. It is only one assessment tool. Like other tools in my toolbox, it doesn’t work alone.